A CHEAP Dig – The Most Epic Chuck Norris Jokes!

Finding Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris, well-known for his starring role in Walker Texas Ranger, made his debut in the film industry in the 1970s. However, the ridiculous Chuck Norris jokes became popular in the early 2000s.

His fans have continuously created new Chuck Norris jokes and make-up “Chuck Norris facts.” Lately, we’ve seen trends of Chuck Norris memes. Although it’s been a while since seeing him on TV, his jokes are long-running on the internet.

Our Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes

Although there are numerous funny Chuck Norris jokes on the internet, our favorite pick is this new Chuck Norris joke; “Chuck Norris got the Covid-19 virus; the virus got quarantined in his body for a month.”

Here are some of the best Chuck Norris jokes available:

Top 10 Chuck Norris Jokes

• One time, a cobra bit Chuck Norris. The cobra endured days of agonizing torture before dying.
• Chuck Norris once traveled to Mars. Because of this, there are no indications of life.
• The zombies strive to survive Chuck Norris, not him trying to survive a zombie apocalypse.
• Few people know that Chuck Norris keeps a journal, which goes by the name of the Guinness Book of World Records.
• Chuck Norris has never cheated death, despite what people think. He always prevails in a fair contest.
• Chuck Norris invented the giraffe; it happened after he uppercut a horse.
• Chuck Norris hit people so forcefully that their blood began to bleed.
• Chuck Norris has never needed to fill his tank with fuel. Terror powers his entire fleet.
• For the time, Chuck Norris doesn’t require a clock. He sets the time by telling the clock what it should be.
• Chuck Norris produced orange juice from the lemons that life had dealt him.

Nature Jokes vs. Chuck Norris

• Chuck Norris won a staring match against the sun.
• Because Chuck Norris only understands the element of surprise, he shattered the periodic table.
• Chuck Norris is a hostage to air; he cannot breathe.
• Chuck Norris damaged his bicycle and scraped his knee on the sidewalk.
• Frostbite does not affect Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris chews on ice.
• Descending Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel is such a big feat. Chuck Norris can ride a cardboard box up Niagara Falls.
• A hurricane named Chuck has never existed since it would have devastated everything.
• Chuck Norris enters a room and turns out the lights instead of turning them on.
• Chuck Norris is capable of creating a snowman from rain.
• Chuck has a magnifying lens and can light ants on fire. At night.
• The iceberg would have avoided the Titanic if Chuck Norris had been there.
• When Chuck Norris looks at the sun, the sun must be wearing sunglasses.
• There is only a list of the organisms Chuck Norris permits to exist; there is no evolutionary theory.
• Leading hand sanitizers make the promise that they can eliminate 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris has the power to eliminate anything he desires.
• Chuck Norris once received a disapproving glance from the dinosaurs. You are aware of what transpired.
• Just look at the list of extinct species if you want to know who Chuck Norris’ adversaries are.
• Once, a snake bit Chuck Norris’ leg. The cobra endured five days of agonizing anguish before passing away.

Logic Jokes vs. Chuck Norris

Here are the top 10 Chuck Norris jokes that beat logic: 

1. No one can stop time. Unless Chuck Norris is that man.
2. Chuck Norris doesn’t require a watch because he can tell the time by himself.
3. Chuck Norris watches 60 Minutes in 20 minutes.
4. Chuck Norris can quickly prepare a cup of rice.
5. Chuck Norris once climbed Mount Everest in 15 minutes, spending the first 14 of those minutes at the base, constructing a snowman.
6. The dates on Chuck Norris’ calendar are March 31 through April 2. Chuck Norris is a tough cookie.
7. Chuck Norris discovered pi’s final digit.
8. Chuck Norris has zero division skills.
9. There are no remainders when Chuck Norris divides.
10. Chuck Norris has repeatedly counted to infinity.

Miscellaneous Jokes by Chuck Norris

1. Since Chuck Norris believes that vengeance is best when cold, he does not own a stove, oven, or microwave.
2. Chuck Norris may use an eraser to create a sketch of your likeness.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t get any rest. He watches.
4. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
5. Chuck Norris is the only human being on earth who can kick you in the back of the head.
6. Chuck Norris can make a slinky ascend.
7. Simon receives directives from Chuck Norris.
8. Mirrors break when Chuck Norris looks into them. Because nothing, not even glass, is stupid enough to stand in Chuck Norris’ way.
9. Chuck Norris has a good sense of hearing.
10. If something feels, tastes, and looks like chicken, but Chuck Norris claims it’s beef, then it must be beef.
11. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Sadly, he has never shed a tear.
12. Chuck Norris says that champions are his breakfast.
13. On a unicycle, Chuck Norris can perform a wheelie.
14. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary buddies.
15. The waiter tips Chuck Norris when he dines there.
16. Chuck Norris can always skip advertisements when using the internet; advertisements cannot skip Chuck Norris.
17. The Loch Ness Monster has reportedly spotted Chuck Norris.
18. He vanished as Thanos snapped his fingers. Chuck Norris dislikes snapping.
19. Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s Secret.
20. The Chuck Norris alert sounds when Chuck Norris enters a burning building.
21. In his entire life, Chuck Norris has never batted an eye. Never.
22. When approaching Chuck Norris, police officers state, “We have the right to keep silent.”
23. The Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris knives.
24. Chuck Norris can communicate in Braille.
25. Chuck Norris doesn’t pick up the incorrect phone; instead, it’s you.
26. Death had a close call with Chuck Norris.
27. Putting humans on an island with Chuck Norris was the initial premise of the television program Survivor. There were no living people.
28. Chuck Norris only bathes in blood; he doesn’t take showers.
29. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he counts down the seconds until your death.
30. Chuck Norris uses a loaded handgun to play Russian roulette. , triumphs.
31. Chuck Norris can strangle someone using a cordless phone.
32. Chuck Norris once used his finger to cry “Bang!” and bring an enemy aircraft down.
33. God took a day off on day seven. Chuck Norris then took over.
34. In the morning, Chuck Norris drinks a mug of nails rather than coffee.
35. Chuck Norris is a winning Scrabble strategy. Forever.
36. A heart attack once struck Chuck Norris. He broke his heart.
37. Chuck Norris can match MC Hammer.
38. Gmail@chucknorris.com is Chuck Norris’ email address.
39. Chuck Norris’ GPS never instructs him to go back.
40. In middle school, Chuck Norris’ English instructor gave him an essay topic: “What is courage?” He handed in a blank sheet with his name at the top and got an A+.
41. He picked up his mother from the hospital when Chuck Norris was born.
42. Chuck Norris once used marble to bowl a perfect game.
43. Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as “You Know Who.”

The Funniest Roundhouse Kick Jokes by Chuck Norris

1. Even though Jack was agile and swift, he could not avoid Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.
2. There was nothing in the beginning. Following a roundhouse kick to nothing, Chuck Norris advised it to find employment.
3. A roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris once caused his foot to break the speed of light.
4. Chuck Norris always responds, “Two seconds till,” when asked what time it is. You inquired, “Two seconds to what?” He gives you a roundhouse kick to the face.
5. Chuck Norris appeared in the computer game “Street Fighter II,” but Beta Testers removed him since pressing any button made him perform a roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris responded, “That’s no bug,” when asked about this “glitch.”
6. The number of fatalities attributable to roundhouse kicks has climbed by 13,000% since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born.
7. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so potent that you can see it with the unaided eye from space.
8. Chuck Norris once transformed a coal mine into a diamond mine with a roundhouse kick.
9. Gold results from Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicking rocks; he doesn’t actually strike gold.

The Funniest Chuck Norris “Strength” Jokes

1. Chuck Norris once ruptured the space-time continuum. He put it back together since he felt so horrible.
2. Chuck Norris’ home served as the first setting for Mission Impossible.
3. Chuck Norris seasons his steak with pepper spray.
4. Playing Jenga with Stonehenge is Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can shut a rotating door.
6. The Guinness Book of World Records is Chuck Norris’ journal.
7. Chuck Norris has bowling ball dribbling skills.
8. The tooth fairy gives you money and takes your tooth when she visits your residence. When Chuck Norris comes to your house, he smashes your tooth and steals your money.
9. With both arms behind his back, Chuck Norris defeated opponents in an arm wrestling match.
10. Weights get in shape when Chuck Norris lifts them.
11. If Chuck Norris went to a different universe where another Chuck Norris existed and they fought, they would both come out on top.

“Scared” Jokes by Chuck Norris

1. Every night before going to bed, the Boogeyman searches his closet for Chuck Norris.
2. Every year, the flu gets a Chuck Norris shot.
3. The trash always gets thrown out by itself, so Chuck doesn’t need to.
4. The main cause of Wally’s constant concealment is Chuck Norris.
5. Because he once spotted Chuck Norris strolling through the mountains, Bigfoot is still hiding.
6. High petrol prices are not a concern for Chuck Norris. He powers his cars with dread.
7. The balls avoid Chuck Norris when he plays dodgeball.
8. Chuck Norris is the subject of nightmares for Freddy Krueger.
9. The parents of Chuck Norris would visit his room when they were having nightmares.
10. Chuck Norris isn’t a book reader. Until he receives the information he needs, he stares them down.
11. Onions cry because of Chuck Norris.
12. Ghosts tell Chuck Norris’ tales over the campfire.
13. When The Flash learned Chuck Norris was looking for him, he learned how to move at the speed of light.
14. Conversely, Chuck Norris doesn’t bargain with terrorists. Chuck Norris is the mediator for the terrorists.
15. The abyss turned its head away when Chuck Norris peered into it.
16. A Happy Meal cried because of Chuck Norris.
17. Aliens do exist. They are merely avoiding Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Fun Facts

Here are 10 interesting facts about Chuck Norris you probably didn’t know:

1. Chuck Norris’ official name is Carlos Ray Norris. He celebrated his 82nd birthday on March 10.  
2. Norris, the subject of many of America’s greatest jokes, was an Air Force Pilot in South Korea before becoming a master in martial arts, acting, and opening his gym.
3. Chuck Norris started working as an actor in 1968.
4. He holds six black belts, all from various martial disciplines.
5. As of 2019, Chuck Norris’ net worth was over $70 million.
6. Norris struggled academically, wasn’t very athletic, and was an introvert in school.
7. Dianne Kay Holechek, Norris’ high school love, was his bride-to-be. She was 17 years old, while Norris was 18.
8. For his Chun Kuk Do martial art, Norris established the ten principles that make up its code of honor.
9. Norris released his first book, Winning Tournament Karate, in 1975.
10. In six episodes of the animated series Karate Kommandos, Norris voiced a cartoon version of himself. Later, Marvel released a comic book based on this narrative.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is Chuck Norris Married to?

Chuck Norris married Gena O’Kelly, a former model, on November 28, 1998.

How Old is Chuck Norris Now? 

Chuck Norris is 82 years old. He was born on March 10, 1940.

Who is Chuck Norris’ Family?

The Chuck Norris family includes Gena O’Kelly, Dianne Holecheck, Mike Norris, Aaron Norris, Dakota Alan Norris, and Dina Norris.

What is Chuck Norris’ Height?

Chuck Norris is 5.57 feet (1.78 meters) tall.

Final Verdict

While some think Chuck Norris’ jokes aren’t funny anymore, most people find them hilarious no matter how many times they read them. There’s no doubt that Chuck Norris managed to build a superhero out of himself; for this reason, his fans have crafted ridiculous jokes and memes. 

The best thing about Chuck Norris’ jokes is they are short and straightforward. You don’t require any information about him to understand the joke. Some might believe that “Chuck Norris Facts” is only a collection of memes and parodies about American martial artists and action movie stars.

You’re probably unaware that each of these assertions about Chuck Norris is accurate; he truly is a superhuman entity, capable of things that would be inconceivable to most people.